Toska
tahs-KAH
n.A great spiritual anguish, often with no identifiable cause.
Nothing Is Wrong
The doctor was thorough, which made it worse.
Bloods, thyroid, iron, vitamin D, the questionnaire with the nine questions. Vera answered all of it honestly, which took some doing, because the honest answers made her sound absolutely fine.
Are you sleeping? Yes.
Appetite? Normal.
Are you finding it hard to enjoy things? No — and this was the difficult one, because she did enjoy things. She had enjoyed a concert in October. She had laughed properly at something her nephew said. The machinery all worked.
Any thoughts of harming yourself? No. Genuinely, emphatically, no.