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THEHUMAN DIARYThere is a word for what you felt.
Heartbreak

Razbliuto

raz-blee-OO-toh

n.The feeling for someone you once loved and no longer do — the memory of the emotion, without the emotion.

Attributed to Russian; of disputed and probably invented etymologyInformal expression

Popularly attributed to Russian, but linguists have not found it in Russian dictionaries and it is widely considered invented. We publish it as a useful English coinage, not as a genuine loanword.

The Museum

She saw him before he saw her, which she was glad about later, because it gave her four seconds to run the test.

Kings Cross, the concourse, a Friday. He was at the departure board with a rucksack and a beard that hadn't been there and a woman beside him who was doing something to her phone. Six years.

Nadia stood by the pastry place and ran the test.

Anything?

She waited. Genuinely waited, the way you wait for a tooth to hurt after the dentist has told you it might.

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