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THEHUMAN DIARYThere is a word for what you felt.
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Amae

ah-mah-EH

n.The wish to depend on another's goodwill, and the licence to presume upon it.

JapaneseCultural concept

The Weight of Being Carried

Kenji was forty-one and had not been ill in nine years, and had forgotten what it did to him.

By the second evening the fever had taken the top off his competence entirely. He lay on the sofa under a blanket he had not chosen, in a flat he paid most of the rent on, and let a woman he had known for fourteen months put a hand on his forehead and say, "You're still hot."

"I'm fine."

"You're not fine. Don't do the thing."

"What thing."

"The thing where you're fine."

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